Pain Is A Powerful Lesson

 Been one of the hardest months of my life physically as this Sciatica injury is just kicking my ass. All the stretching, the rehabbing and doing everything possible gets frustrating and full of doubt. This is quite possibly the worst injury that involves so much pain for so long since my accident with my legs. Talk about misalignment and the feeling down your leg feels like getting a mobster taking shots with a baseball bat. 

For small periods there is little pain but other times, might as well be debilitating. The reality is, I know it'll end sooner or later and what I'm doing is helping, it's just hard as hell to be patient and let it heal. I also can't give up on myself either and stop training because without training, I'm not me and that vow I made to myself a long time ago that the day I can't do anything training wise is either when I'm dead or in a coma. The pain is excruciating but I can't just stop. When it becomes so painful that putting on clothes or even standing to do dishes becomes a difficult task, there's something not right there.

I don't believe I tore anything or ruptured anything otherwise I wouldn't be able to walk at all but yeah, I have a fucked up joint in my hip that shoots down my leg. No I'm not looking for sympathy or want anyone to feel sorry for me, I did it to myself and I can't blame anyone. Facing it head on is hard enough and beating myself up comes with the territory with me. I don't wish this amount of pain on anyone, not even the ones I have issues with. Pain is a powerful lesson but it also gives you an opportunity to find out what you can do despite the pain. When you feel so limited, it feels like defeat even though it really isn't. Fighting to get back is a road that takes many turns and the paths can go anywhere. There are signs that point you in a direction but what you choose becomes a defining factor of when the destination hits a standstill. There is doubt, frustration, anger, thoughts of giving up, wishing you had morphine on hand and doing anything possible to not feel pain but you keep fighting anyway because the moment you give in to any of those things, you failed and I can't fail no matter how many times they're thrown at me. 

I don't deserve special treatment or deserve to be helped. A part of me wants to suffer and deserves to suffer because I let it happen. Another part of me understands that I can't control 100% of the time what happens to me because injuries can occur at any moment and no matter how good we are at training or how much knowledge we have about avoiding injuries, it creeps up on you and the moment it does, you're tested to see what is possible while you recover. You're hurting and beat up but like Rocky, you keep going, you keep fighting until you can't anymore. Even though it's painful, I'm still in the fight and as Captain America would say "I can do this all day" and do whatever it is you have to to get back to being your true self again. 

Even Batman gets hurt and with all those bruises, shiners, busted ribs at times and taking on tasks that most humans couldn't even do at 1% of their best, its important to realize we're all still human and we can't heal like a a Wolverine or Deadpool even though we wish we could. Pain is a bitch of a teacher, but every teacher gives us an opportunity to learn and grow. The struggle is real but the journey is part of that struggle and you keep moving forward inch by inch if you have to. 

Animal Documentaries And Their Inspiration To Move Like A Wild Beast

Sometimes, watching TV can be a good thing, especially when it comes to true stories or documentaries. I'm a sucker for a good documentary if it's on Aliens, Baseball, Nature, Serial Killers or Ancient History. It fascinates me whether some of it is a little fabricated or twisted around but there's always some form of truth in there. Nature Docs are one of my favorites and have several in a collection from the Planet Earth Series, Dynasties, the study of Primates, Wolves and others. 

If anything, they inspire me to train like an animal in the wild. Just getting up and crawling, jumping or flat out mimic an animal just for the hell of it. Certain streaming services these days are actually pretty cool especially with Nat Geo on Disney+ or the Nature Docs on Netflix because it's not just trash TV or movies or countless shows but being able to actually learn a thing or two and have some fun in the process. I've seen practically every Nat Geo show on Disney+ from The Wild Series to White Wolves, Primal Survivor and Docs on Animals in America. Every time I watch them, I want to get up and go play as a wild animal.

Animal Docs aren't just to teach the behaviors and seasonal rituals animals have but also showcase the landscapes and homes they build, the bonds they develop, the playful fighting amongst cubs, the way they battle each other and how powerful they can truly be. Would you ever get in the middle of a fight between big horns, tigers, bears, bison or elk? As humans, we're the only species that can take in very close quarters of a fight and live to talk about it most of the time, but if humans were even within 100 yards of a fight between testosterone fueled wild animals, you'd be lucky to even still be breathing. Imagine two fully grown bears that weigh up to 1500 lbs at best just whaling on each other, would you even be dumb enough to get within 50 feet of them? You would either have to have nerves of steel or just have some kind of Death Wish.

The closest I've seen to a fight between animals was wild deer outside my garage window and it wasn't even a full on battle, just messing with each other, if it got out of hand, glass shattering and walls broken would be inevitable. I've also seen a teenage moose strolling in the backyard once and it made a normal size horse look small. It's incredible what we are able to observe but even more incredible to develop our bodies using natural resources to build strength, athleticism, stamina, flexibility, explosiveness, conditioning and other major attributes using our own bodyweight, pushing/lifting rocks, carrying logs, taking down trees, dragging something heavy and anything else in between.

Crawling, Jumping, Balancing, Sprinting and other movement patterns create the natural order of what the human body is capable of. We crawl as babies, we jump onto things, we develop awareness that helps us balance and we become explosive and channel that flight or fight mode. As adults, we don't always crawl as much as we had to as little ones, jumping improperly has led to many injuries and/or fatalities and most of the time, sprint either for recreation or if we're being chased down. As we got older, being natural dwindles and we let age and our faults define us and consume us. Even if we utilize nature even a little bit, there's still some of that order left in the world. Learn to crawl again, play like an animal in the wild, have fun in your exercise and use your imagination. 

We need to realize we're part of nature too and sure we'll always be far more advanced than a wild animal but that doesn't mean we can't learn from them and use nature as a way to strengthen ourselves physically and mentally. Their specific skill sets are extremely powerful and jaw dropping and if we even used a smidge of that to make ourselves stronger as a species, think about the good that can come out of that.  

Earning Your Keep

            

            In order to get what you truly desire, you got to earn it. There are so many things people are just handed to, cell phones, ipads, a new car for your kid’s 16^th birthday, even in certain sports like Wrestling for example; they just want to learn takedowns, holds and escapes but they don’t want to put in the work to get there. Not everybody is like this and no matter how hard certain people work certain things won’t come or they get turned down for the things they want to get and it’s a shame.

            With training, a lot of people just want results at the drop of a hat but won’t put in the effort to get there. Some people are gifted and results come in very easily but for the general population especially those over 40 needs to put in a great deal of effort to make results come true. Now granted those who put in the effort but are unhappy with the results are so overwhelmed by it that they just quit and make excuses.

            You can enjoy what you put into it. It’s very easy to train like it’s a punishment and you just move along until you’re burned out and you just hate what your results look like. On the other hand, if you enjoy going after a goal even at times when it’s at its hardest, you can accept the outcome because you didn't quit. If your results didn't come the way you planned, that’s ok you still made an effort and might have to switch gears to make it happen next time. Whatever you put into, you have earned those results and you strive to be better.

            What’s the ultimate competition when it comes to getting what you want? It’s you versus the person you see in the mirror everyday. Comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges, it’s not the same fruit and neither is you being the same person they are. If you really want true competition, it’s going up against yourself. You started out with certain things you can’t possibly do at an advanced stage but you work your way up, as you get better you’re beating what you couldn't do before, you’re climbing that mountain when that part of you at first couldn't grasp it.

            Imagine this for a minute, you’re below a mountain that is so high up it just seems impossible to get there yet there’s someone else up there just having a ball, you grab the binoculars and you edge the lens to zoom in who’s just have the time of his life and out of all things to see, you see yourself and wonder “how the hell did I get up there.” He sees you and he has the power to zoom in without any help and waves at you. He wants you to come up and if you look closely you can read the lips “You can do it. I’m right here waiting.”

            You want to see how far you’re willing to go. You start to climb the mountain and there’s obstacles standing in your way and it’s tough for you to fight them but that part of you won’t let go of the fact that there’s someone holding your spot at the top. It takes a while and you are tested in ways you couldn't possibly imagine before and you struggle at times but there’s that piece of life left to keep going. Sometimes you have to take a break because let’s face it; this mountain has some crazy ass trails. There are times where it’s so overwhelming that you just feel like you can’t go any further and that’s when that person starts coming down the mountain with ease with a smile on his face, looks at you from a distance and says “you’re almost there, smile. It’s beautiful up there and it’s all for you.” You get that second wind and keep driving, seeing the top a little closer and closer, that last piece of the mountain is so steep it’s just begging you to fall but you climb it anyway come hell or high water you want to get up there so damn bad you can just feel the wind brushing you back and the air is at it’s best.

            You’re mere inches away and that last form of struggle won’t let you go but you fight it anyway. You have beaten it, you climbed up to the top and you see yourself standing right in front of you and he says “Welcome, I knew you can do it, I’m proud of you.” He disappears into the earth and you’re standing at the top just by yourself, you've covered more ground than you possibly imagined and only 5 words come to mind “Damn it’s beautiful up here.” 

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Fight For What’s Important

             If you’re truly committed to something, whether it be training or whatever, fight for it with everything you have because it’s worth making something happen. Some people half-ass it, some barely do anything an others don’t do anything at all but the real one’s who make the commitment go places. It takes practice to find something you want to achieve or have a lifelong goal.

            Taking a stand in what you believe in takes guts. In the case of training whatever it might be, if you believe in what you’re doing, no one can tell you right from wrong. Gymnasts bust their ass day in and day out for years and for what, to get a medal around their neck? Not all do this and more power to them if that’s what they want to shoot for but for some it’s much more than that. Many athletes have this same mentality but the difference is how they believe in themselves and in their sport. Michael Jordan is another prime example of believing and taking a stand on what he wanted to do to be better than anyone else.

            Your instincts are what separate you from the rest of the pack. Sometimes it’s all you can rely on but another thing to look at is listening to your heart. Your instincts help you be aware but your heart is what you feel and that can mean a lot of things but in the end you’re either going to go after what you want or you won’t. Value what you have but keep challenging yourself. Fighting for a goal makes you stronger and reliant on your instinct to make something happen but also feel it at the same time.

            If you value what matters, you’ll fight for it while being smart about it. Fighting for something can only take you so far and eventually you’ll have to rest and rethink. Think about what you’re doing and ask yourself “is this truly what I want?” I value what I have and have fought for what I believe in, not just myself but what I want to do. After my accident, there were times where I thought I wouldn't be able to walk or do the same things again. It became true but I fought back and believed that if I wanted to get stronger, I’d be damn sure find a way to do it. Making things happen puts you in a class very few achieve and the more committed you are mentally, the more you’ll want to shoot for. Fight for what’s important and do it in a way only you can do it.  

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