Theme Park Isometrics

When it comes down to it, I love amusement parks, been to a few in my life and always end up having a pretty good time especially at the greatest theme park of all-time Disneyland. Yesterday however, I had the opportunity after nearly 4 years of living in Idaho I went to the state's most famous theme park Silverwood in Athol. Very fun and just an awesome time with my girl Holly, speaking of which if you get a chance check out her bad ass blog about Turner's Syndrome at This Butterfly Life. Anyway back to it, me and the lovely Spider Monkey had an incredible day full of love, laughter, enjoyment and just pure kick ass fun. Went on water rides, a couple Coasters, saw a magic show, ate awesome burgers at a wild west themed restaurant and rode a 3 mile train ride that included a stunt show and tour of the grounds circling the park.

Now why did I come up with the title of this article, how the bloody hell do I mean Theme Park Isometrics? Well students, what you do is when you're in line at a par of this caliber or any amusement park for that matter, while you're in line waiting for your ride; you do Isometric Exercise against the railing or wall of the line. This really tells you that excuses are not part of the quota here and you can get training in even at a crazy place filled with characters, buildings and large fucking rides. I've been doing these for years at the Boardwalk and at Disneyland. Standing in line, doing wall pushes, pulls, sits, arm wrestling a pole, chest presses, Iso Curls and even muscle control with my hands in my pocket; whatever you can come up with make use of it. This will help you keep up your energy so you can stay pumped full of life during your stay at the park, walking is also awesome which you do a lot of anyway but why not bring muscular contractions to make things interesting. I even once did a unassisted Handstand in line of World Of Tomorrow at the Happiest Place On Earth.

It can be a little trying to exercise in line and might be worried that someone might look at you funny and think you're some kind of weirdo; trust me I thought the same thing and I did get some looks every now and then and was even asked what I was doing, just said that i'm doing what I love and that's training. Some get weirded out by it, others have given me praise for them but the majority of the time, no one gives a shit; they're either on their cell phones texting friends that are right next to each other or being bored when the line will move and then there are kids, that is self explanatory. I do it because it's fun and you can even make it look a little casual like nothing out of the ordinary; that's where the wall sits come in handy big time especially if you want to keep up the stamina of your legs throughout the day.

Next time you're in line waiting to get on a ride, do a few Isometrics against the railing whether it be wood, a chain, hollow aluminum steel and whatever else. Passes the time when you're there a while (try being in 2 hour line waiting for fucking Indiana Jones in Adventureland you'll thank me on that one). Will it wear you out? No if you play your cards right and not go full boar in every line, only use maybe 40% of your strength at best and do it for a few seconds and don't make yourself too obvious to attract so much attention the person operating finds out and won't know what the hell to do with you, be creative but casual and relaxed, not so full of adrenaline you make a damn scene. It's a lot of fun and it gives you something to do instead of moping around or getting so excited that you might lose it after waiting too long. Go for it and may you get stronger before you get on your favorite ride.

A Traveling Fitness Companion

I love to travel and have been to many cities and a few states in my lifetime. Being back east was an adventure, traveling up and back the pacific nothwest was a delight although I was recovering at the time but won 500 bucks at a Harris Casino in Lake Tahoe. With the way you travel and where you travel it is important to have valuable needs that are as basic as possible and I certainly believe you should travel with a fitness training kit.

Even though we have gyms at every major corner in the U.S, it's difficult to get some exercise in after a hard day driving on the road or flying for hours on end. It's also very difficult to carry weights around so I don't think its wise to travel with a rowing machine or squat rack full of iron plates and a bar. A gym to travel with should be easy to carry and put away like in a suitcase, backpack or dufflebag so when you get to your hotel room or wherever you're staying, you can get a little bag out that has handles with cables to attach to and use a door anchor to place so you can all sorts of exercises from as many angles as possible. I sometimes travel with my chest expander and it's a hell of a way to get some kick ass training in before you head off to bed or after you wake up in the morning before a meeting or session with your employees/employers.

A great training kit would be a TNT Cable Pack that you can get in a 60 lb. Pack, 120 lb. Pack or 180 lb. pack  that have a few rubber cables where you can attach a triple insert slot with the cable and have at it doing the same types of exercises you would in a gym such as overhead presses, curls, squats, lunges, cleans and others. With the Door Attachment you can hook your cable(s) and handles over a holding bin where you can do exercises based on the machines such as Lat Pulldowns, Arm Wrestling Pulls, Tricep Pressdowns, Twists, Sit-ups, Upright Rows, Chops, Rows, Chest Presses going downward/upwards and like a standing Bench Press but that's just the tip of the iceberg. You don't need the gym per say when you have it everywhere you go. Take it out while you're at the park, at a baseball field, at the airport waiting for a plane, in a guest room at a house you're visiting for the weekend, at the beach hell if you an get away with it train at a gas station while you're pumping gas; you have no excuses.

People tend to believe that if you want to get in shape you have to train at a gym or a fitness studio paying a shit ton of money that could be used for other important factors like your fucking food or gas money. I'd say "you're right I do train at a gym when I travel, got it right here in my bad ass bag here, this is my gym and I can get fit anywhere I fucking wish." It really throws people off when you carry a gym in a hefty little bag that weighs no more than 3 pounds at best yet get in great shape under 20 minutes a day and don't have to pay for the day at a lousy gym filled with gross sweathogs that don't wipe down equipment and judgmental shit for brains that think that they own the fucking joint, no you never have to go through that. The world is your gym my friend, embrace and don't give a shit what people think, you're the one getting fit while they stand there with their finger up their ass looking like you're some kind of hippie.

Uncut Review Of C-Mass

Haven't written a review in quite a while on this bitch so I thought I'd share some insight into a course I humbly loved looking into....Paul Wade's C-Mass course, you know that book with the bad ass Kavadlo Brothers on the cover, yeah that book.

What does C-Mass stand for for those playing the home game; it stands for Calisthenic Mass, in plain English means building insane muscle using only your bodyweight. Now really how the fuck does that happen? Isn't this a contradiction that only skinny dudes and guys that can't afford a gym membership only do Bodyweight and isn't Bodyweight Training mainly for Gymnasts and those who do Zumba classes? Believe it or not guys, you can get pretty fucking big using your own body. Just to be clear, I'm not talking the grotesque type of muscle mass you see on roided shit for brains bodybuilders with a gut the size of New York and arms bigger than Sally Field's head and it damn sure isn't about having a back that makes North Dakota look small; it's about realistic muscle mass that is functional, useful and looking like a real old school athlete or muscle builder (pre-1950's).

Paul's brand of humor and non-sense bullshit is the heart of this book and he gets down to the nitty gritty with very few scientific outlooks but more based on experience and letting his readers know in plain English what the real stuff is all about. He's no scientist or doctor, hell the guy has been in the joint but yet he's honest about what has happened and what inspired him to how guys can get huge using the body as the ultimate weight. I for one admire his views on building real muscle and how you can do it without drugs, supplements or machinery.

Now with the guys on the cover Al & Danny Kavadlo, they bring the soul of this book with their smiles and plethora of tattoos (Danny takes the cake as the most tattooed bodyweight guy I've ever seen). Some people gave these two guys shit because they're not "big" in the sense of what the book was intended to apply as but yet in my blunt opinion; they are pretty big for guys who only do Bodyweight, yes they're most likely under 190 or more but that's the amount of weight most muscle guys back in the early 20th weighed; guys like Charles Atlas, Bobby Pandour, Eugene Sandow and let's not forget pound for pound the greatest muscle control masters Otto Arco and Maxick. Shit I admire that amount of muscle on guys like them. I have them beat by nearly 100 pounds and can do gnarly stuff from a bodyweight stand-point.

What's amazing about this course in and of itself is a true testament and hope that with the right tools and the more muscle being used in a single exercise can constitute a great physique. For over 10 years the majority of my training is pure bodyweight and I can attest that it is possible to be big and use nothing but your own body. All I can really say is once you apply these simple techniques you're gonna need a new freaking wardrobe so be forewarned. I give this book on a scale of 1-10; it goes to 11. It's one of the most unique books on building realistic muscle mass and staying as healthy as possible with the only side-effects being increased metabolism, higher testosterone, burn off fat like butter to a fucking frying pan and it can only be limited by your imagination. Get massive shoulders doing presses like Handstands, close-grip push-ups, Dips and others and getting cannon-ball biceps from pulling movements like Pull/Chin-ups, Rope Climbing, Aussie Pulls and Bodyweight Curls and let's not forget an insane mid section from Levers, Knee Pulls, Dragon Flags, Human Flag, Hanging & plenty more. Learn The Commandments with a Vengeance, study the old-timers he mentions and keep an open mind.

Here's the link to C-Mass: How To Maximize Muscle Growth Using Bodyweight-Only Training

A Workout That Tortures The Entire Body

Every now and then I do workouts that are just fucking worth sharing because they are that good and it can make anybody humble when you feel yourself shaking like a damn earthquake. I don't normally talk about my workouts in full detail just bits and pieces about how I feel. Last night however, holy shit it felt amazing but insane at the same time. I love Bridging; it's by far the best method for stretching and strengthening the spine, hips, midsection and neck. This workout consisted of 5 exercises that just hit you hard with a fucking vengeance, still think Bodyweight Exercises are only good for endurance and short gymnasts? Try this on for size and to warn you I'm over 250 lbs.

Wall Walking X 10

(On The 11th Rep) Wall Walk & Touch Chest To Wall 10 times

Wall Walking (W/ Reverse Push-up or Gymnastic Bridge) X 5

3 min. Front Bridge

3 min. Back Bridge

My legs were shaking trying to hold the bridges and still held em for the amount of time. This workout is particularly used by those in MMA or Wrestling (Not WWE) but if you're interested in getting in shape this will be incredible for any routine. Being able to lengthen the spine releases incredible energy that gives you the juice you need to keep your structure healthy and secure from injuries. It opens up channels in the body that most exercises can't. Think how strong your midsection gets from doing this kind of training; you stretch the obliques because of the automated contraction from Wall Walking and your legs get a hell of a workout keeping you stabilized in the bridging exercises.

It goes beyond training your back and neck, you're really throwing your whole body in the mix going forwards and backwards, powering up the hips and it releases a great amount of Growth Hormone that enables you to enhance your metabolism, burn off fat from your neck down to your toes and increases sex drive and seriously having a healthy sex drive is something we all should strive for.

This is not a workout that should be taken for granted, develop mastering the bridges and the wall walking before engaging in this setting. It takes time and patience believe me, it took me a month just to hold a three minute back with no hands with my nose to the mat and took me a few more weeks just to press into a good gymnastic bridge. Wall Walking is fairly simple to do but be cautious and always have some kind of good padding so you don't hurt yourself. Also doing the wall walk (walking down the wall backwards until your head touches the mat) do not ever use a very wide stance, this can really put far more stress on the knee joints and puts most of the weight on them, so keep the foot distance of shoulder-width apart. Also as you get better walking all the way down consistently, decrease the distance between yourself and the wall to the point where you're walking down with your feet less than a foot away from the wall.

Have fun with this if you have the experience with bridging exercises and let me know how it goes for you. If you wish to know about Bridging in full detail check out my friend Logan Christopher's Advanced Bridging course that will take you far beyond holding a bridge. It is by far the best course out there for this specific method.

Throughout The Day

When you have a small window of time, it's important to use it at the best of your ability. Some people have jobs that last half a day or more and exercise might be the last thing on their mind but it can be done if you make the effort to do so. I knew people that have made so many excuses but never once had a "I'll make the effort" comment. Sure it takes discipline and understanding of timing and being fresh as best as possible but overall it's got to have meaning to you. Most people these days work long hours and don't have time for the gym to get in a solid hour but there are possibilities.

I learned from a friend a few years back that when you have that short window and it can be used for exercise, take it. He is always on the move and is a performer in stage shows and produces/manages many people so what the hell does he do for exercise before coming home waiting to pass out? He exercises little by little throughout the day. When someone isn't hassling him or has a window away from the laptop in his office, he does Isometrics and or a bit of calisthenics (using his office chair, desk, sidewalk if he has to) and even when he's at a stoplight on an intersection. He makes the little time he has to train his body and it's kept him energized throughout the day.

 Sometimes I have more time than most because I work for myself but there are days where I'am very busy doing articles, being with my girl, dinner gatherings, going out to places with people and traveling whether on the ground or in the air yet I make the most of what I can do throughout some parts of the day; i'll do push-ups or squats at a gas station while the tank is filling up, do some (what I call) Playful Movement or do Isometrics while someone is driving, rise up on my toes in the grocery store, do deep breathing exercises waiting in line for a movie, all sorts of stuff that is convenient and not looking too obvious. Make your timing count when it needs to be. Even do little things between commercials if you're watching TV (they suck anyway) or a small routine while you're in Bed (not doing the horizontal mambo). There's no reason why you shouldn't exercise unless you're in severe dire straits and about to die. You are your own gym and you have the ability to make things important to you, do so and make it work for you.