Listen up, for those that are sweat-soaked savages of the mats, the choke-hungry hunters of the guard and the relentless rollers who live for that sweet, soul-crushing moment when your opponent's eyes bulge like overripe grapefruits and they realize they're DONE. Yeah, you know who you are – the ones who train till you reek like a forgotten gym sock in hell, who wake up with bruises that look like abstract art painted by a drunk Picasso. If you've ever felt that fire in your gut, that primal roar demanding you don't just submit them...you break, pin and fucking own them, then get ready guys.
Today, we're marching into the goddamn apocalypse of grappling control: Legal Pain: Mastering the Art of Pinning by the one, the only, the true king of the Pin himself, Wade Schalles.
If I had to pick one of if not the best way to control somebody – It's the raw power of pinning. Nothing flashy or full of bullshit. Learn the art of turning your foe into a human paperweight, flattening them out like a steamroller and making them question every life choice that led to this moment of exquisite, legal torment. And let me tell you about Wade Schalles? That man's not just a coach. He's like the architect of agony. The Guinness Book of World Records crowned him the all-time leader in wins and pins. Wins and pins, people! That's like saying Michael Jordan not only scored the most points but also invented the hoop.
If you're still rolling your eyes, thinking "Pinning? That's for wrestlers, not BJJ players," let's set that crap aside for a moment. Pinning isn't some dusty relic from the spandex era of amateur wrestling. It's the skeleton key to unlocking your inner dominator – whether you're slapping around white belts in your academy, prepping for that no-gi comp where the ref's blind as a bat, or just straight-up surviving a street scrap. Schalles' masterpiece? It's four volumes of pure, unadulterated mat mastery, clocking in at a price that won't make your wallet weep ($79 – cheaper than a bad tattoo you'll regret). We're talking battle-tested gold from a guy who's originated moves like the spladle (yeah, he birthed that leg-splitting nightmare), blended with grainy footage from his glory days and crisp modern breakdowns that make you feel like you're whispering sweet nothings to the camera while choking out your demons.
But why the hype? In a world drowning in scams such as "Extreme Training is the only way to go" by guys who weigh a $1.05 and charlatans that couldn't pin a wet noodle, Legal Pain is the antidote. It's the thunderclap that reminds you: grappling isn't about flowy armbars or that one triangle you hit once in a blue moon. It's about CONTROL. It's about riding your opponent like a bucking bronco on bath salts until their will to fight evaporates like morning dew under a Texas sun. And Schalles? He delivers it with the precision of a surgeon who's also a sadist. Legal pain, baby. The kind that hurts so good, you'll thank him while icing your ribs.
Let's crank this engine and tear through the volumes, shall we? Breaking it down like Frank Gotch broke down opponents – methodically, mercilessly, and with a side of "holy shit, why didn't I know this sooner?" Learn about the techniques, the philosophy, the "aha" moments that will have you pausing the vid to scribble notes and more. By the end, you'll be foaming at the mouth to hit play, strap on your gear, and turn your next roll into a pinning clinic. Ready? Let's go.
Volume 1: The Foundation of Fury – Conditioning, Breakdowns, and the Sweet Symphony of Squashing
Image it: You're 20 seconds into a roll, and your partner's already squirming like a worm on a hot sidewalk. That's the magic Schalles unleashes right out the gate. Volume 1 kicks off with an intro that feels like a pep talk from Zeus himself – Wade's voice gravelly with decades of grit, laying out why pinning isn't optional; it's the soul of the sport. He dives straight into conditioning, because let's face it, you can't pin a dude if you're gassing out faster than a politician at a fact-check. We're talking drills that build that iron-lung endurance, the kind that lets you ride for minutes without your arms turning to linguini. The carryover will shock the hell out of you.
Then comes the meat: Legal Pain. Schalles doesn't mince words. He shows you how to inflict discomfort that's 100% rulebook-legal but feels like Satan's foot massage. Front chancery? Forget the limp version you learned from YouTube Sensei; Wade's entry is a vice grip that turns heads into bobbleheads. All varieties of the Nelson – full, half, reinforced – get the royal treatment, with entries from whizzers, chicken wings, and that turkey bar variation that'll have you grinning like the Cheshire Cat mid-match. And the breakdowns? Holy shit-balls Batman, the breakdowns. He teaches you to ride, turn, and tilt with mechanical efficiency, using body angles that make physics your bitch. Spiral ride? It's not just spinning; it's a vortex of doom that sucks your opponent flat. Driving them? Like herding cattle with your hips as the prod.
But here's where this master shines: the strategy. He weaves in finishing pins, situation pinning (because not every pin's a textbook nearfall), and counters that keep you one step ahead. Arm bars and chicken wings get a full breakdown – six ways to snag them, three series variations, even doubles for when you want to make them tap like a typewriter and cry. If Volume 1 is your warm-up, it's the kind that leaves you sweat-drenched and starving for more. About 45 minutes of gold, and you're already pinning shadows in your dreams.
Volume 2: From the Bottom to the Breakdown – Load-Ups, Rolls, and Headlock Hell
Alright, time to flip the script. Ever been stuck on bottom, feeling like a human trampoline for some crazy strong gorilla? Volume 2 is your jailbreak manual. Schalles starts with pinning from down – load-ups that turn defense into offense faster than Trump opening his mouth to say something about Fake News. Olympic bar? It's not a weight room toy; it's a shoulder-shredding beast that lets you bridge and roll like you're possessed. Nearsides, one-on-ones – variations that have you bridging higher than your caffeine intake on Mondays.
Then, the Clemson roll. Oh damn, the Clemson roll. Wade breaks it down with footage from his prime, showing how to chop that tight waist and explode into reversal gold. Front and reverse headlocks get the spotlight too – situation pinning from standing or sprawled, turning scrambles into squashes. And the spladle? As the originator, Schalles owns this. He demos entries that split legs like Moses parting the Red Sea, with finishes that pin and threaten subs. Conclusion? A mic-drop on why these tools make you unpredictable.
This volume's a beast for no-gi folks too – those headlock takeovers translate seamlessly to MMA scrums. About 50 minutes, but each second's a sledgehammer to your complacency. You're not just learning moves; you're learning to think like a pin artist.
Volume 3: Leg Wrestling Wars and Crab Ride Carnage – Counters, Cradles, and the Art of the Squash
Now we're in the deep end, you leg-entangling lunatics. Volume 3 is leg wrestling fundamentals on steroids – getting into legs, putting backs to the mat, and riding them till they beg for mercy. Schalles covers cross-body variations like a boss, near cradles that lock in like divine handcuffs, and reinforced half nelsons that feel indestructible. Crab ride? It's not crabby; it's a crustacean of control, pinning from angles that defy geometry.
Counters are the cherry – escaping legs, neutralizing cross-bodies, even pinning from standing when the ref's distracted (kidding... mostly). He drops philosophy bombs too: Pinning as the soul of wrestling, why it builds unbreakable mental toughness. Fundamentals of leg wrestling alone are worth the price – entries, finishes, and that "putting on back" sequence? Game-changer for BJJ bottom feeders looking to invert their fate.
Clocking ~55 minutes, this one's for the tacticians. It ties wrestling roots to modern grappling, making you a hybrid monster.
Volume 4: Clock Theory, Survival, and the Psychology of Breaking Wills – The Main Event
Volume 4 is the boss level, the philosophical gut-punch that elevates pinning from technique to terrorism of the psyche. Clock theory? It's Schalles' secret sauce for timing rides, bar arms, and survival escapes. Bar arms sound innocuous? Nah, they're leverage that turn 150-pounders into a 300-pound nightmare. Mechanical advantage in bear hugs? He shows how to out-muscle giants, neutralizing guards in MMA with chokes and cradles that scream "tap or nap."
Front trachea choke, cross-face cradle series, submissions from leg rides – it's a buffet of brutality. Knee to ribs for that extra "oomph," headlock takeovers that end rounds before they start. And the philosophy? Platinum. Taking away the will to win, optimizing strategy, referee awareness (because nothing says pro like gaming the stripes). Wade even shouts out the "Babe Ruth of wrestling" vibes. Riding legs wraps it up, a full-circle reminder that control is KING.
~60 minutes of mind-melting mastery. By now, you're not watching; you're *absorbing*, ready to unleash.
Why This Will Change Your Game – Benefits, My Rant, and Your Call to Arms
Look, I've ranted about fitness fads – the extremists, the snake oil "Guru" that smokes and is an alarming caffeine addict (same type who claims to lose 132-264 lbs in less than 8 weeks), even guys that write about doing barbell squats on a stability ball is a good idea that just need to move onto a different endeavor. But Legal Pain? It's the real deal. Benefits? Overhauled riding, turning, tilting – your top game's a fortress. High success rates against beasts twice your size. Mental edge: That "taking away will" philosophy? It's therapy for your inner competitor. MMA crossover? Neutralizing guards alone saves tournaments. Conditioning? Built-in, sustainable, no-bullshit.
So, what's the hold-up? For $79, you get four volumes of legend-level lore. Pin like Wade, live like a god. Be amazingly awesome. Train hard, pin harder, and remember: In the mats of life, control is king.
