2 Decades And It Still Haunts Me But Teaches Me Lessons Everyday

 

It's never easy having a memory like this. It's still embedded into my mind that will last the rest of my life. That spot that changed everything. One bad day becomes a haunting reminder yet still teaches me lessons that have kept me going all these years. A stupid mistake/accident by a 20 year old that had to learn new things beyond the physical about pain, suffering and fighting to get back.

20 years ago today, at this very spot was the day I was broken, physically, emotionally and mentally. It was sunnier, in the late morning, early afternoon and went here for a date where the girl I was hanging with brought friends along. Climbed up to the top of that long stretch of rock below the green. I was supposed to go all the way to the very end where the water would've been highest, I jumped more towards the middle like a dumbass (Red Foreman wouldn't hesitate to say this) and thought the water was still good but it went out within about a split second after I jumped and both feet landed on the very hard and rugged sand below. 

Because of my own stupidity, I shattered my left tibia fibula and both my ankles all in one shot. Everything felt weird and held up my leg to see it flop without me moving it. Luckily no bones broke through the skin but I heard the sound of them coming from the inside, I had a lady come over and asked me to try and stand up and I didn't want to get up. Two guys pulled onto the shore and I just laid there. The call that even at the time nearly killed my mother when she learned that I told her I think I broke my legs. I was laying there on the sand in the warm sun waiting for an ambulance which had to bring the Gurney down the cliff a few yards away. The girls and a couple other people kept me talking since the shock was hitting me like a freight train.

My dad and stepmom came around the time the ambulance showed up. Paramedics asked me all the general questions and was completely conscious to answer them all as best as I could. Asked the girls what happened and asked witnesses around there including the two guys who pulled me in. Because of where the vehicle was, they had strap me in and haul me back up the cliff which already has a very narrow pathway. Scary as hell to say the least. They got me in and one of the things the they asked is what music I like to listen to, for some odd reason I said AC/DC. 

Got to the hospital and because of the sand in my shorts, they had to cut them and wipe me down, it was everywhere. About a couple minutes into being in that room with people including my parents, a woman that helped raise me, her son one of my best friends and my stepmom, I just lost it. The true shock kicked in and I just balled and screamed right then and there like learning someone had just murdered someone in my family. Horrifying moment on top of what had already happened.

Had to go into surgery that night or so because the damage was insane. The bones in my left leg split to the point where repairing took some weird way to piece them but they couldn't stay straight or line up properly the same way ever again. Before they put me under anesthesia, they asked what I wanted to listen to to keep me calm, again I said AC/DC and they put on Back In Black. Most likely they turned it off the moment I was out but I do remember couniting and then just going to sleep.

I woke up later in a hospital room and was told about all these procedures I had to do. Not going into gross details so I'll leave that amongst yourselves. This was where the true beginnings of what would become my findings of inner strength to get back to walking again. I learned the value and the strength needed to pull myself up into a wheel chair. Got several visitors around that time, even the girls and my date from the beach, I felt horrible having them see me like that but I was nice and being friendly with them and I think the girl who jumped after me apologized or something along those lines and I shrugged it off and told her it was ok. 

Once I got the clearance to go home, I had a ramp built for me to roll up into the house and had to get a hospital bed put in the living room because the pathway from the living room to my room was extremely narrow. Everyday was a struggle and had friends and family come and hang with me and keep me occupied. Before all this happened, I was going to gold's gym and doing powerlifting and other training stuff, going to concerts in downtown Santa Cruz at a place called the Catalyst where famous bands played and it was a place to go with my Stepdad before he died, getting burgers and fries and watching a giants game. Those concerts in the atrium around 2004, roughly a year before my accident, was where I met Logan Christopher and reconnected with my neighbor two doors down from me Tyler Bramlett who was the Drummer for his band Archer at the time with guitarist Dylan Rosenberg (Goes by Dylan Rose now) and their Bassist Isaiah May if I have the last name correctly. They would play cover songs and their own stuff for battle of the bands and things like that. Logan was the guy who helped set up the equipment.

Logan & Tyler came around often either after workouts or before and talked to me about all this stuff about Physical Culture and about guys like Dennis Rogers, Jon Hinds, Bud Jeffries and many others. I believe they were the first ones to mention to me about Matt Furey and his combat conditioning book. Their the ones that gave me the tools to research all this stuff which is why I have always credited them as the guys that saved my life. They treated me like a brother and taught me how to be strong.

As the weeks went by and another surgery had to be done, I went to another hospital to get work done on my legs that needed a greater set of tools to operate and put things in. After a while, I got to be in my own bed. I did have an incident and fell flat on my left foot and thought something got damaged again. rushed to the hospital but was taken to one in Watsonville, not Santa Cruz and they didn't tell my mom so when she went to Keiser Permanente in SC, they couldn't find me there and ended up telling her I was in another town because of something going on with Ambulances being shorthanded or something like that. Remember about the narrow pathway to get to my room? Well the Gurney couldn't fit through so without any help, I literally dragged my legs and my ass backwards on my hands since I couldn't and wasn't able to get up on my feet.

I got a copy of combat conditioning and for the last few weeks before my last surgery, I read through that thing maybe a dozen times, learning everything. The final surgery was on July 29th, the day after my 21st birthday. I always joke that because of getting it done the next day, I couldn't have a beer on my own 21st birthday. So I advise those turning 21 to have fun as much as you can and don't be an idiot like me and get hurt. I was doing occupational therapy during the time between my second and third surgeries. Was told that my therapy would take roughly a year to let things completely heal after my surgery. I made the decision to do PT on my own, my way and everyone but a few friends and my mom were pissed at me that I was going to do that and were afraid for me making things worse. Within days after that last surgery, I started working on Hindu Squats, Hindu Push-ups & Bridges just like Matt suggested in the book. 

I couldn't do more than 10 squats, 15 pushups and my bridge was terrifying to look at at first. I kept at it every single day for a month, then switched to other exercises but ever since those first squats, pushups and bridge, I haven't taken one day off of doing exercise or a workout. I was just determined to fight with everything I had and it was painful as fuck and walking for more than 10 minutes exhausted me. By December of that year, I managed more than 1000 squats in a single workout, 1050 to be exact. Regular Hindu Squats & Jumping Squats for almost an hour, taking breaks when I needed to. 

For 20 years now, I still take those lessons and tools those guys gave me and kept the promise to myself to do something every single day no matter what. I've had set backs, little injuries, weight fluctuations and dealt with relationships, deaths, funerals, traveling and many other things but I still found a way to exercise because in my mind, if I don't, it's like losing a piece of my soul. It's my second language, the thing that drives me and what has led me to a life that has brought me many friendships, working doing what I love and promoting those that inspire me and it brought me to meet my wife when one of the last things she saw on our first date was when I bent a 60D Penny Nail for her. 

Although I still have some nightmares to this day of what happened, I' am grateful for what came to light and what I've become along the way and to say thank you to everyone who encouraged me and gave me the strength to keep doing this. You guys are incredible and I'm thankful for your support with this blog and putting up with some of my crazy shit all these years. You all are amazingly awesome, thank you.