Wednesday, June 7, 2023

Closing In On The Home Stretch

 Not 100% out of the woods yet but my recovery is near its end. I can feel it drifting away little by little. I still have moments where there's little shots of pain down my leg but it's becoming less and less. It has been a very slow process, far slower than most injuries in the last number of years and I'm just itching to get back to my old self again. 

At times the pain was so great that it made me irritable and lash out which by all accounts I hate doing to anyone. I also hate taking stuff to numb the pain and part of me needed to suffer in order to punish myself for what I put myself through. Didn't take enough stuff to become addicted which is a good thing. I wasn't popping pills like they were fucking M&Ms, just a thing or two to relieve some of the pain in order to go about my day. Got this one thing called Nerve which helps with circulation and gives the nerves in my body an extra boost to help me recover since some of the pain was shooting down straight into my ankles and feet starting at the hip. Only take the recommended dose. 

Seen a Chiropractor half a dozen times now and most likely need a couple more adjustments to realign this sumbitch and the guy that has been working on me is really damn good at what he does. Like I said it has been a slow process but I know it's almost over. I've been slowly getting back to strengthening and lengthening my body doing stretches (mainly), cables, isometrics, Sandbell training and loaded carries with a lighter weight. I have also been using my foam roller which at times does feel painful but I'm getting that bad alignment readjusted and you just take it for what it is. 

Over these last, I think it's now almost 6 weeks, there's been lots of ups and downs, restless nights, moving like an 80 year old man ready to die and struggling mentally to keep my sanity. To distract myself, I got caught up in the fight against those who have been so extreme against those who are LGTBQ and the things these people put up to justify them as a whole has just burned a hole in my brain. I have friends and knew people in that community and it breaks my heart that all this hatred towards them because a few bad apples made their way into the news. Believe me, I'm totally against grooming or forcing kids against their will but from a statistical standpoint, nothing compares to the grooming and sexually exploitation of kids in Beauty Pageants and those in religion who've taken advantage of young boys. All this shit with Trans folks is an extremely small number in comparison and yes whoever is hurting kids should be punished but not all Trans or gay or whatever are like this. 

Throughout this whole process and the pain, it boils down to keep fighting because you want to get better and there will be days where it feels hopeless but you can't give up because there are people who need you. I have strong feelings about what I do in order to build myself up mentally and physically. It's not meant for everyone and some will say I'm an inspiration and others will say I'm a pussy and have no value to anyone but whatever my beliefs are training wise or in my thoughts about the news and hatful/fear being spread around, I see things from a different angle and at times only I'll see it and that's ok. Once this shit is over, I'll be seeing my training with a greater appreciation and determination.  

Let me end this with a bad ass Disney Song with that fires me up every time and sung not by the original singer but by an up and coming artist who's expressive, has a voice that pumps up the blood in your veins and makes you never hear your childhood songs the same way again. Have an amazingly awesome day and be good to one another. Don't give into hate, that leads to the Darkside. 



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