It has been a rocky road to recovery from my sciatica injury that started nearly a month ago and although the pain comes and goes, it still pretty damn shitty that I can't do what I love to do at my best. Got no one to blame but myself for having it happen and it hasn't been easy trying to do even basic things like walking and standing. There were times where it took me longer to put my clothes on than I normally would. What injury is ever easy?
Trying different things at a lower pace and even doing beginning stages of certain exercises to help heal. Some things do ok, others not so much and the pain levels sometimes reach excruciating heights that it hurts to put on my socks and shoes. With all the things that I've tried, the two things that seem to bring any comfort training wise is Isometrics and Joint Loosening exercises. Even the most basic animal moves hurt except maybe the Bear Crawl which I only do a minute each day. While we were at the Hot Springs in Montana earlier this month, I did mainly go in the hot and cold pools which temporally helped ease the pain and do Isometrics in the room.
The Chiropractor is helping to an extent but it's so damn hard to not want to push myself. When I go a little further, that's when it really acts up. I have pushed myself to the point where even climbing stairs feels like an eternity and I really need to listen to my body and stop being so damn stubborn and full of pride. I really don't like it when people have to help me even for the easiest things and sleeping has been a nightmare.
My sciatica is about as inflamed as you can get and the pain in my nerves shoot all the way down my right leg that ranges from a 3-9 on the pain scale. I haven't felt pain this bad since my leg injuries back in '05. I'm not giving up on myself, I'm still training just in a much smaller capacity and I'm just so damn ready for this thing to be over with. Sometimes I want to see what I can still do but get in my own head and push myself beyond what my own ability is right now and end up suffering for it which maybe is a lesson I need to learn in order to understand how I can find a way to keep doing things but not at full capacity or even half. By my own observation, pain tolerance and the way I can move, my best capacity level of what I know I can do is right now at best 20-25% of what I normally can do and that's stretching it. For me that's just downright horrible but I need to just let my body do its thing and give it time.
When injuries happen, the biggest fight is with ourselves and at times we'll just barely do anything because we either give up or don't know how to deal with it, other times we fight so damn hard to come back that we overestimate our abilities and can make things worse. We do need to find that balance but the one thing that should always be there is the ability to keep going but work on the progression and doing our best to know our limits but go above them little by little even if it's microscopic. I know damn well that there are people out there who have it far worse than me and they hold their pain in better than I ever could but that's why I also fight to come back because I know this is not going to last forever and it'll give me a better appreciation that I can beat this and that it's important to be thankful I'm still able to do things even in a smaller setting. It's hard but it's not forever. I will be back hitting hammers on a tire again, I will have my agility and strength back doing crazy animal stuff and I will dominate the step ups again because that's one of the exercises that has kept my legs in great condition in the first place.
If you're injured, don't give up on yourself, fight back and make it your mission to be better again. Strengthen yourself but also listen to your body even when that part of you wants to push beyond, we can only push so much but it doesn't mean we have heart. Keep being amazingly awesome and keep on keeping on.
No comments:
Post a Comment